Not everyone has a basement. The mutants living in the Cursed Earth rad-lands of the American Southwest, for example, live their entire lives without the benefit of a basement. Sad.

In the Northeast, basements come in two types: Scary and Not Scary. All basements are somewhat scary because man wasn’t meant to be beneath the ground. But some basements push that scary thing to a new level through neglect, dampness, and an unmistakably grave-like earthen feel. Those are the basements you run up the last three steps when exiting, regardless of how old you are.

The Not Scary basement usually has a drop ceiling and a Ping-Pong table. It’s a place parents put their kids when they don’t want to deal with loud little monsters traipsing dogshit through the white carpeted living room. Those basements rule. They suit the needs of kids throughout their adolescence and when you turn 16 it’s where you touch a boob for the first time.

This Hulk poster featuring Neal Adams artwork would look awesome in a Not Scary basement. Check out the word balloon you could totally waste by writing something not funny in.

Typically I don’t like to reward those sellers who are so dismissive of me, the potential buyer, that they don’t put up large size images. But this piece deserves some looks so we’ll try to ignore that this would be a much more effective auction if the scale of the piece was represented and a good photo was taken.

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