Movie Tie-Ins For Movies That Suck

The sad bastard children of the comics-to-film marketing landscape. These poor pieces of shit never had a chance.

Take, for example, this ring. An exclusive promotional item you could only find at participating 7-11 stores, this item is a tie-in for the incredibly dull 1996 film The Phantom. Now, if you’re a big fan of the Phantom as a character (all two of you) you may want this item for your collection. But deep down you’ll always know it’s from the Billy Zane movie you pretend never happened.

Or what about these sick Jonah Hex tattoos? From THE MOVIE. You want to relive that, right?

Part two coming soon, hopefully with Elektra tissue box cozies and Punisher: War Zone hubcaps.

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